Dumped

The Cast of Sad Players:

Young and pimply Starbucks Dude (yap)

Moi

Scene:

Starbucks, 8pm, busy with the rush of the post evening classes from the uni next door.

Script:

Yap - “so what can I get for you tonight?” he says in what seems like a quiet voice leaving me unsure if he’s quiet or if I just can’t hear him over my grief and the voice of my subconcious mind telling me to hold back the tears for at least another five minutes.

Me - “just the water and the sandwich please”, I say in a low voice, “just the water and the sandwich tonight”, I repeat, this time a little more sure as I wave my debit card.

Yap - “how’s your day been?”

Me - “Good”, I say like an automaton. 

Me - “Shitty”, actually, I add in.  “The truth is that my day’s been shitty.”

Yap - “me too”, he adds dryly, suggestive of the potential for wit and charm in his future life.  “I got overpaid a couple of months ago, and now they want their $600 bucks back … so I’m in debt.”

Me - “Awe”, I say sincerely, “that stinks.” I pause.

Me - “I got dumped.”

Yap - “ohhhh, geez.  That sucks.”

Me - “Yeah, I’d much rather have your problem.  I can handle debt.  Am not much for dumped.”

Yap - paralysed now by the fact that his internal catalogue of experience has no cheater card with advice or encouragement for the heartbroken almost middle-aged woman at his counter.  He manages a smile and hands the woman her sandwich.

Me - “good luck with the debt.”

Yap - “yeah … thanks, ” he says with a mumble that wreaks of the compassion he wishes he had.

______________________________________________

Confused and terribly sad, I manage to eat the sandwich in my car, feeling more and more nauseous with each bite.

I thought I had felt loved … I thought I had felt worth it to love and be loved …

It went as quickly as it came.

Clearly … I was mistaken about something.